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Waiting for Karl Rove – The Sequel…(sort of)

October 22, 2012

Finally! The sequel to Waiting for Karl Rove is available. You can find the e-book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble… the paperback will be on Amazon soon. Here’s an excerpt…

 

A Visit with Mitt Romney – September 2011

An incensed Donald Trump loomed over a wilting Mitt Romney as David and Charles Koch watched from their seats behind the ornate polished oak boardroom desk. The lights were dim, the curtains were drawn and testosterone hung heavily in the air like the fetid decay of a corpse left to rot for a week or so.

“Whaddya gonna do? Nice college boy, eh? Don’t wanna get mixed up in our family business, but you want us to “take care” of Ricky because he slapped you in the face a little bit, huh? Made you his bitch at the last debate and now you‘re looking for retribution? Whataya think this is, the Army, where you shoot ‘em a mile away? You gotta get up close like this… bada-BING! You blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit.” Donald closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then walked around behind Mitt, putting both of his meaty paws on Mitt’s shoulders. “C’mere… you’re taking this very personal. David, give him a mint.”

Mitt swallowed hard. Real hard. “I don’t want a mint, Donald. But thanks.”

“Have a mint,” Donald insisted.

“I don’t wa—”

“Have a fuckin’ mint.”

Donald’s fusty breath wafted into Mitt’s ear and traveled around to singe his nose hairs. Mitt nervously reached over the desk to retrieve a red-and-white mint from the Baccarat crystal Architecture Bowl; $2,300 dollars’ worth of sleek-lined, forty-five degree angled blown glass. When he knocked it to the floor at his feet and it shattered into a few dozen pieces, Donald harrumphed loudly with disgust.

“That’s gonna cost you, Mitt.”

“Just write it off as a campaign expense.” David Koch chuckled maniacally.

“Well, what did you expect me to do?” Mitt whined. “It was a live debate and the guy wouldn’t stop talking over me and getting in my personal space.”

Donald pivoted quickly around to face Mitt, slapping him hard across the face. “You could act like a man! (Slap, slap) What’s the matter with you?”

“I just need a little more time, guys. I promise I can bring those poll numbers up. All I have to do is give Rick a bit more rope to hang himself.” Mitt leaned as far back in his chair as he could, away from Donald’s raised hand.

“Make no mistake, I don’t like violence. I’m a businessman. Blood is a big expense.”Charles Koch warned.

“What is it you want me to do?” Mitt’s voice climbed a few shaky octaves. “I won’t get out of this race. I know—”

“Oh, you’ll get out of this race if you know what’s good for you. You’ll answer that stupid immigration question a few more times with as much of that idiotic ‘I didn’t know the lawn guys were illegals’ bullshit to require the media hold you accountable. Sfffffft,” Donald whistled through his teeth, “…and you’ll disappear like that.” He punctuated his last statement with a pert snap of his fingers.

“Mitt’s a reasonable man, gentlemen. He’ll make the right decision.” Charles Koch pulled out his blackberry and began checking his e-mail.

“Guys, come on. You don’t mean this. Charles?” Mitt Romney stood up, looking from one man to another.

“My brother is no different than any other powerful man — any man who’s responsible for other people, like a Senator or President,” David Koch replied ominously.

Mitt stood with his mouth open, aghast. “You know how naive you sound? Senators and Presidents don’t force people to—”

Charles Koch looked up from his blackberry. “Who’s being naïve now, Willard?”

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One Comment leave one →
  1. October 26, 2012 9:31 pm

    I absolutely LOVED book 1. I can hardly wait for this to come out in paperback. Regardless of your political affiliation, funny is funny. In these weeks before the election I could use some true political comedy!

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