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The Supreme Court Can Bite Me!

June 5, 2012

“Justice Scalia, is that Scott Walker sucking your dick under your robe, or are you just happy to see me?”

I got home late this evening and prepared to stay up all night to watch what was supposed to be a close recall election between Governor Scott Walker and Mayor Tom Barrett in Wisconsin.  While watching the Rachel Maddow Show, NBC called the election for Walker with only 22% of the votes counted.  What…the…fuck?  At this very moment I’m watching a laughing, anaconda-jawed woman at Scott Walker campaign headquarters.  And here I always thought Republican women couldn’t give good blow jobs; thereby explaining why their husbands always end up getting arrested in airport men’s restrooms.

I’ve never been a union member, but I do understand their importance to this country.  I applaud the citizens of Wisconsin, and particularly the public sector union members for working so hard to recall Walker, the only governor in the country with his own legal defense fund.  Walker transfers $100,000 to legal defense fund.

I’d give anything to have a legal defense fund.  I’d use it to buy something to eat other than peanut butter.  Somehow I doubt Walker is using his to upgrade his dinner menu.

Scott Walker outspent Tom Barrett by approximately seven to one.  Most of Walker’s money came from special interest groups located out of state.  Our old pals the Koch brothers, whose annual income is estimated to be $100 billion, contributed $6 million to help bust the unions in Wisconsin.  These two guys are the worst siblings since the Menendez brothers.

Which reminds me, did anyone do an autopsy on old man Koch? Did Charles and David Koch have alibis for the day of his death?  Just wondering.

Oh, fuck.  The Daily Show just ended, I switched back to MSNBC and Scott Walker is giving a victory speech.  Okay.  That’s better.  I turned off the tv.  Silence is golden, or in my case – copper.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  I suppose you’re wondering about the title of this blog entry.  (I don’t suppose any such thing because that would imply someone is reading this and I’m not stupid enough to believe that will ever happen.)

On January 21, 2010, with its ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are persons who are guaranteed free speech.  I’m paraphrasing here, but this means a shitload of money can be anonymously spent on tv and radio ads.  These ads  contain whatever lies and distortions are deemed necessary to completely crush candidates not being supported by the corporations and billionaires paying for the ads, i.e. Democrats.    Democrats also receive contributions from corporations, but are mostly financed by small donors and unions.  If the unions go, most of us will go as well.

Karl Rove’s lifetime wet dream of permanently placing Republicans in the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court is close to becoming a reality.

My vote never counts because I live in Texas.  But I vote anyway because I believe voting gives me the right to say, “The Supreme Court can bite me!”

I never vote against my own self-interest and it almost tickles me to see how many people do.  Drink up tonight, middle-class Americans who support these types of policies.  It won’t be long until you’ll be joining me in my drink of choice (chosen for me by the corporation I work for) – tap water.

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